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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26492371">How Can I Say This Without Breaking?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittersweetsummer/pseuds/bittersweetsummer'>bittersweetsummer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Apocalypse AU Fics [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apocalypse, BAMF Jun, BAMF Junhui, BAMF Minghao, BAMF The8, BAMF Vivi, Badass, Blood and Gore, Dead People, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, End of the World, Flash Forward, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Inspired by Dawson's Creek, Inspired by Fear the Walking Dead, Inspired by The Walking Dead, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mentioned LOONA Ensemble, Minor Character Death, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Zombie Apocalypse, Sad Ending, Sad Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Sort Of, Soulmates, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, Zombie Apocalypse, no happy ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:48:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,691</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26492371</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittersweetsummer/pseuds/bittersweetsummer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One day a little boy named Jinyong asks Wen Junhui what a soulmate is. Junhui tells him as he thinks about this soulmate - Xu Minghao.</p><p>---</p><p>Or Jun doesn't find Minghao until after the world has already ended and he loves talking about him and remembering how they fell in love. </p><p>---</p><p>Every summary I think of sounds horrible, this took forever to write please read it!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Apocalypse AU Fics [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How Can I Say This Without Breaking?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi guys! This is a TWD inspired-ish fic, it has some elements from the comic/show and I took some general ideas from them but I did my own thing with it. You don't need to know anything at all about TWD to read this. Except maybe that they don't call zombies 'zombies' because it's suppose to be a universe were zombie myth, legend, lore doesn't exist. I like that better because I've always found the world 'zombie' to be a bit cheesy and the idea of not knowing what zombies are before the dead rise is a super scary concept. I use a quote in this which is from Dawson's Creek and it's inspired by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSU8Zs0VvmI">tis</a> video. The girls from Loona are featured in this because I needed more people and since they have almost the same amount of members I felt like they would balance things a bit. You don't really need to know anything about them. But if you do know them you'll probably know Yves' birth name is Sooyoung but she will be referred to as Yves (French way of spelling Eve btw). The reason why is Sooyoung and Soonyoung are one letter off and they appear in a long set of scenes together and people (like myself) with disorders that have to do with processing or if they have dyslexia (also like myself) might have a hard time processing the names next to each other a bunch of times in a row. I don't want to frustrate/confuse anyone or myself lol. Thank you for understanding! Below will be some songs I listened to if you wanna give them a listen while reading! Anywaaaayyyyy…I hope you guys like this fic! Please comment and give me your thoughts! Thanks!</p><p>Nitesky - Robot Koch<br/>I Get to Love You - Ruelle<br/>Saturn - Sleeping At Last<br/>Mary - Big Thief<br/>You - Keaton Henson<br/>First Love - Jungkey<br/>You Are A Memory - Message To Bears<br/>Turning Page - Sleeping At Last<br/>Stuff We Did - Michael Giacchino<br/>Crossfire - Stephen<br/>All That I Want - Kodaline<br/>Youth - Daughter<br/>Hurts Like Hell - Fleurie (this is where the title comes from)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Jun </span>
  <span>gégé?” Jun jumps slightly at the sound of the little boy's voice from somewhere behind him pulling him from deep thoughts. He turns and sees Jinyong behind him, clutching a dirty old stuffed bunny to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Jinyong.” Jun says, giving the little boy a sweet smile as he reaches over and pulls him into his lap. “What’s going on?” He brushes the boy's messy hair away from his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to ask you something.” Jun gave the small boy a nod to let him know he could do just that, he’d do just about anything for the small boy, for most of the kids in the safe zone. Not only were they all adorable and sweet but in the new world they were the future and protecting them was what would determine if the human race survived or not. “What’s a soulmate?” Jinyong asked, voice sweet like syrup, Jun raised his eyebrows surprised to be faced with such a deep question from someone so young.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span><strong>It's a…well, it's like a best friend but more.</strong>”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>Junhui was miserable. The society had fallen and those who were ruthless had inherited the smoking remains. Jun wasn’t one of the ruthless. He was soft, gentle, and kind. He wasn’t made for a world of flesh-eating monsters and cruel human beings brandishing weapons in his face. At the start Jun had found shelter at a grocery store the Military had set up as a place for civillians to stay until 'things were figured out'...that was until the dead took over. Then Jun was on his own and open to any attackers or people who wanted to take advantage of him. And t</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>hat’s exactly what happened. </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>He wasn’t even on his own for long before a group of 'junkers' - as they called themselves - caught him. They took him captive as a slave along with another boy called Joshua. They suffered under them for half a year or more, time was difficult to meassure at the end of the world. But then Minghao and 10 of his friends were targeted by the junkers and they weren't going down without a battle. They took Jun and Joshua in after that. Jun can still remember it all as if it happened just yesterday, every memory with Minghao was like that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gunfire, voices, and the sounds of approaching walkers filled the air around them. Junhui desperately pulled at the rope that kept him and Joshua tied to a tree at the edge of the road. The sounds were drawing walkers closer and Jun knew he Joshua were the first dead if they couldn't to get out of their bindings. That's when a voice called out, </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey!” Jun looked up at the sound of a nearby voice. There was a boy standing there, his chest heaving as sweat poured down his face. He had silky black hair that’s styled in the most endearing mullet Jun had ever seen and his fringe was even sticking to his forehead in a way that shouldn't have been so cute</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>. He looked back at the chaos behind them and then stumbled down the short incline from the road to the trees but once he got there he cut Jun and Joshua free.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Here.” The boy gave him the knife he'd used to free them. “It’s all I can give away." He muttered and reached for a gun at his waist.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thank you.” Jun had whispered. He remembered hoping the boy and his friends made it out alive, he hoping </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>he</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> made it out alive. He'd wanted to truly meet the boy and thank him for saving his life with more than just empty words.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The group ended up being a group of eleven boys and twelve girls once the dust had cleared. The junkers were dead on the street and the large group were actually allowing Junhui and Joshua into their ranks.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>
      <span>*Some Months Later*</span>
    </em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’ll never believe what we found.” Jun jumped at the soft voice suddenly speaking close to his ear. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey! Don’t do that.” Jun complained, turning to hit Minghao with the book he held. “You know I get lost when I’m reading.” He certainly had whined no matter what Minghao said.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s exactly why I did it.” Minghao said with one of his cute little laughs sitting down on the bunk next to Jun and taking the book from his hands to examine it closely.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What did you get?” Jun tried to take the book back but Minghao didn't give in, keeping it out of his reach. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We got a nice fat </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>deer</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>.” Junhui's eyes had widen and his hand dropped as he'd stared up at Minghao in surprise.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh my god! That’s amazing, we haven’t seen any in a month.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“A gift from the gods!” Minghao cheered with only slight sarcasm unable to mask his true excitement.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Quiet down love birds!” Heejin yelled from somewhere below them. They had managed to take hold of an old prison and were living quite a nice little life within the cell blocks. “Yeojin isn’t feeling well! She’s trying to nap!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re the one yelling.” Minghao called back as Jun blushed at the suggestion of anything happening between him and his best friend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How about we <strong>all</strong> stop yelling!” Yeojin butt in and the matter was put to rest.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I better go help Jeonghan and Haseul prepare the food.” Jun muttered as he got up from the bunk only to be pulled back to Minghao’s side.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It can wait. I’ve been out all day. Why don’t you read me a story?” The younger boy shoves the book back into Jun’s hands, Jun looks up at him in surprise as Minghao had never asked for anything so...peaceful before.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay...but only for a little bit.” He'd whispers as he'd opened the book. In truth he'd have stayed their all night or until he'd lost his voice if Minghao had only asked him to.</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Jun shifts so that his knees are no longer beneath him, he crosses his legs and adjusts Jinyong on his lap. He then continues his explanation to the curious boy watching him with large and intent eyes. “<strong>It's the one person in the world who knows you better than anyone else</strong>.” </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jun watched where the road disappeared behind the trees in the distance. His thoughts raced as he waited in the guard tower. </span>
  </em>
  <span>
    <strong>It’s been too long. They’ve been gone too long.</strong>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span> Jun bit his lip and gripped the railing in front of him as he'd willed the scouting party to appear on the horizon. Jun turned when he heard someone climbing up the guard tower ladder.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey.” Seungcheol said softly when they'd made eye contact. “I was coming to see if they were approaching.” Jun glanced back even though he knew what he’d see.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“They aren’t back yet. It’s getting dark.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“They’ll be back.” Seungcheol whispered and so, the two stood in silence and watched the tree line. Seungcheol had become a leader to the group, he always looked to the others before making any huge decisions (especially Jihoon and Haseul, they had become the other de facto leaders when Cheol wasn't around). He was good, he was who they needed. But Jun knew it took a toll on him. He wished he could do something to truly thank Seungcheol for all he did for all of them, for how he kept them alive and fighting.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Headlights,” Seungcheol whispered sometime into the darkening night. Jun’s head whipped around to see the approaching vehicles. Three low lights come into view and Jun could already hear the low rumble of Minghao’s bike.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, thank god,” Jun had whispered as he'd darted over to the ladder.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jun, Seungcheol, Haseul, and Jinsoul meet the scouting party at the gates.  Jinsoul and Jun both cover their mouths when Minghao was close enough to see. Minghao was covered in blood, dried and dark on his hands, crisply stained on his shirt, and splattered across his cheeks.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What happened!” Jun yelled as he ran to the younger boy, already pulling him into a hug, the younger boy had struggled a moment to keep the bike upright as he was still on it the engine rumbling beneath him. Jun hadn't cared. He’d seen the look of exhaustion and sorrow on Minghao's face and he needed to go to his best friend. Minghao’s arms wrapped around Jun’s waist, he was shaking and weak just barely holding in sobs.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I-I’m sorry-I couldn’t-“</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shh.” Jun rocked them just slightly, then pulled back to wipe the blood and tears from the other boy's cheeks. Jun turned his head when Jinsoul rushed passed him to pull Jungeun into her arms as Hansol and Dino were stepping out of the car, but…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Where’s Joshua?” Jeonghan calls from up the hill, his voice rough with panic. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry.” Minghao had whispered from where he'd tucked his head into Junhui's neck. “I tired.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The whole group had seemed numb but Jeonghan had been inconsolable at the loss, he couldn't talk to anybody even Seungcheol. It became unusually quiet in the cell block on that night. Jun had been very worried about Jeonghan, but he knew Jihoon and Seungcheol were with him even if he wouldn't actually talk to them. So, he let him be waiting for the cell block to become dark and silent before making his way down to the cell Minghao was in. The door creaked as it opened alerting Minghao someone was there. He propped himself up on his elbows and squinted at the door.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jun?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah.” Junhui whispered as he crept over to the bunk. “We should talk.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Go to bed, Jun.” Minghao mumbled as he rolled to face the wall.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No.” Jun laid down next to Minghao, curling around him as best he could. “You shouldn’t be alone.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Your friend died because of me.” The younger snapped harshly but Junhui hadn't taken it personally he already knew Minghao too well for that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He was your friend too, and it’s not your fault. Hansol and Jungeun told us what happened. You almost died getting his body back for us.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s still dead.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shut up.” Jun had whispered, voice coming out shaky unsure but insistent at the same time. “This wasn’t your fault and Joshua wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up...and I hate seeing you like this.” They laid in silence for a moment before Minghao turned over and pressed his face into Junhui's chest.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It should have been me.” Minghao’s voice cracked and Jun had tightened his arms around the younger boy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How did I know you were going to say that?” He asked with a deep sigh that seemed to come from somewhere deep within his chest. “Let’s mourn, Minghao. That’s what we do now. But we can’t blame ourselves anymore, this is what the world is now. We don't have control over anything anymore, we never will.” The two stayed like that, crying into each other’s embrace until sleep overtook them.</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Jun clears his throat and looks back at the young boy. “<strong>Someone who makes you a better person. Actually -- they don’t make you a better person better person, you do that yourself – because they inspire you.</strong>”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Aw, how cute. Little farmer Junhui.” Jun turned his head to squint up at Minghao.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Haha.” Jun muttered as he stood up from the ground and began removing his gloves. “We can’t just eat squirrel the rest of our lives, Haohao”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We can’t?” Minghao raised his eyebrows. “This is news to me. And here I thought you loved my squirrel." Minghao raised his voice in a weak attempt at an impression of Jun. "'Oh Minghao thank you soooo much for saving us all with your strength and skills. I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't for the delicious squirrel you brought home for us. And have I mentioned how handsome you are-'"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why are you here if you’re just going to tease.” Junhui whined as he pushed at Minghao’s chest, the other held up his hands in surrender with a little teasing giggle.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay, okay, I just wanted to tell you that we are having a meeting about the people outside the fence." Jun turned to look out at the families waiting just beyond the gates of the prison, pressing into the thick wire fencing. They had been there for three or four days and it was <strong>killing</strong> Jun. They just wanted shelter...but trust was something they couldn’t easily give away anymore. Junhui followed Minghao back up to the building to join the meeting.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We could clear a cell block out for them. Keep them on the other side of the prison.” Kahei suggested, her eyebrows pulling together. They were gathered together in one of the old canteens close to cell block C where they all slept.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We can’t risk it.” Minghao shot back. “We can’t give them anything.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Some of them are kids.” Jun cut in, looking at Minghao in shock. He couldn’t believe Minghao could be so heartless, he’d never known him to be that way before.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yeah, and I want to help them we can't just trust their parents." Minghao said with a careless shrug which irks Junhui to no end. Minghao was admittedly his best friend in the group, he'd always thought he was so kind and special but this side of him was so <strong>ugly</strong> to Jun. "Especially not after Joshua's death. And don't you remember the people we found you with?" he'd said the last bit directly to Jun who was no longer looking at him unable to.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Okay, I'll go talk to them again." Seungcheol says, his voice strained. "We keep them out...for now...I guess."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You're upset with me." Minghao said - blunt as ever - as he'd sat down across from Junhui at dinner later that night.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Of course, I am." Jun said without looking up from his deer meat skewer. “They’ll all be dead soon and it seems likely we’ll have to watch.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Josh is already dead…What if one of them isn’t trustworthy?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then we find a way to screen them or just take in the children.” Jun snapped. “I don’t want to watch them starve to death or be ripped apart by dead people!” He stood then, throwing down his empty skewer before childishly stomps away. Unable to be bare the thought that Minghao might be so heartless and so unmoving.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>*A Few Weeks Later*</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Junhui woke to the sound of shouting, cell doors rattling and squeaking as they were opened, and the clicks of clips being put in guns or the rattling of knives and daggers being grabbed from the bin they kept them in. He'd sprung up and rubbed at his eyes before he began looking for the knife he kept even when sleeping. He stumbled into the hallway and stopped Mingyu from rushing past him with several guns in hand silently asking what was happening.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Bitters. Lots of them.” Jun followed him down the stairs and out the building into the day light. The Sun was still rising, painting the world in golden yellowand fiery orange. Jun followed the others as they made their way down the hill that lead into the yard and eventually to the gates.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His blood ran cold as soon as he got to the top of the hill and could see what had happened. Thousands of dead ones had emerged from the forest outside their gates. Mothers and fathers held their children on their shoulders and begged for Seungcheol or Jihoon to take the kids from them. They looked torn; Jun was sure they were waiting for the others before making any big decisions on what to do. Jun had rushed down the hill, all he could hear was his pulse in his ears, all he could feel were his lungs contracting painful from the effort he'd put into running. He nearly tripped halfway down just barley catching himself before he did, his knees skidding painfully on the dewy harden ground. But he <strong>had</strong> to tell Seungcheol that they <strong>needed </strong>to save the children – if no one else. The sound of the gate opening made Jun pause, looking up from the ground. He saw Minghao hauling the inner gate's door open with Hansol’s help, he ran past the other boy to try and get to outer gate door to let in the families past the wiring.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Get to the gate!” Jun had yelled to the families, cupping his hands around his mouth to amplify the sound. “Go! Go!” They all moved at once when they realized the gates were opening, rushing all at once. Jun pulled out the gun Seokmin had handed him on his way out, he'd locked the silencer in place and took off the safety before he began shooting at the dead that were closest to the families, getting closer as he fired shot after shot. Minghao took children first, shuffling them in before standing aside to let the adults fight their way in.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It wasn’t until the smaller gate was locked in place that Jun realized he’d been holding his breath since he'd first reached the hill and had seen what was happening. He hadn’t seen anyone die since they'd come to the prison. Hadn't seen anyone ripped to pieces as they screamed for help, for mercy, for death. And he <strong>never </strong>wanted to see it again. His eyes scanned the crowd by the gate until he found Minghao, who had already been looking at him. He'd smiled, soft and relieved and Minghao had smiled back, before turning away to wipe at his eyes not wanting Junhui to see him 'weak'. Jun had laughed slightly in relief and in how silly the one he loved truly was and also maybe with the joy of knowing that Minghao was <strong>exactly</strong> who he thought he was. No matter what happened, at his core, Minghao was <strong>good</strong>.</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“A soulmate-” Jun felt like his throat was closing and he had to clear it several times before he could speak again. All the while Jinyong stared up at him, all big eyes and open ears. He hadn’t interrupted Jun once too invested in hearing what the adult would say next. “<strong>A soulmate is someone you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would.</strong>”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>The cell block was silent and dark. There was a leak in Yeojin and Yerim’s cell which dripped softly and was the only sound other than soft snores and mumbled words from someone deep in sleep. Junhui couldn’t sleep though. Ever since the apocalypse had come Jun had a hard time sleeping. He’d seen too much and hurt too long to ever be able to sleep soundly again. Sometimes when things felt helpless and scary in his own mind he’d go and visit the makeshift daycare room they had set up for the youngest in the prison. He’d look at their sweet innocent faces and hope that things could be different when they were as old as Jun was then. That the world would be better. That the monsters would be dealt with – those monsters, both dead and alive. He had to keep surviving to help that world become a reality for them, he couldn't let either of the monsters win.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Junhui had lit one of the candles that Haseul had collect in a recent mega store raid. He was reading an old copy of Wuthering Heights he’d gotten from an old used book shop from the village nearby. He’d always enjoyed the book, but it had stressed him out before. It seemed sad and scary. Now Jun could almost laugh at his younger self. So naive to the truly scary things in life.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Can’t sleep, Junhui?” Jun jumped at the sound of Minghao’s quite nighttime voice filling his cell. It was often Jun didn’t hear someone coming anymore. But Minghao was the most silent person in their group. Even in the thicket of the forest Minghao moved over the ground like a ghost floating from room to room. Silent, deadly, graceful.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Junhui cleared his throat and nodded as he moved aside to give the other boy room to sit with him. Jun pulled his knees to his chest as Minghao settled in next to him. “What made you change your mind?” He asked the younger boy in a whisper.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just…seeing everything…talking to you.” Minghao mumbled not looking at Junhui.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you think we made the right choice?” The younger boy finally turns his head to look at Jun who couldn’t return his gaze.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes.” He says firmly. “We saved children, that’s what’s important, right?” Minghao rested his hand on the back of Junhui’s head so the other would turn and look at him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Right.” He whispered, leaning over to rest his head on Minghao’s shoulder. Minghao’s hand moved down to Jun’s shoulder, rubbing his skin in slow circles as Junhui began to hum softly for them. Both of them slowly lull each other to sleep.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The next several months are a learning curve for all in the prison. The original group help the new families and survivors settle in, they clear out some of the previously overrun cell blocks and set up new schedules and job assignments. Junhui felt warm and sweet at how well everything had gone. They actually had a community, a smoothly function community. Things finally didn’t seem so bleak.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You seem awfully happy.” Minghao’s voice spoke up next to Junhui as he fell into step beside him. “What’s up?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s just a good day, Hao Hao.” Jun looked over at the younger boy, a smile spreading across his face. On top of everything else the sun was shining warmly on Minghao, making his skin golden with tinges of pink and the sunlight made his smooth hair shine.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“If you say so, Junnie.” Junhui giggled and buped his hip against Minghao’s.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What are you on the scheduled for today?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Gardening.” Minghao’s mouth twists into something like a cross between a frown and a pout, he was notoriously terrible at gardening.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Let me see what I’m on for, maybe we can-“ Junhui cut himself off at the sound of rapid gunfire going off in the distance. Minghao and Junhui both duck down on instinct as screams fill the air. Minghao grabs Junhui’s hand and pulls him behind one of the old rusting dumpsters nearby. “What’s happening?” Jun asks in a panicked whisper.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t know.” Minghao shook his head. “We need to get somewhere safe, then I’ll go check it out.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” Jun grabs onto Minghao’s shirt. “No. I can help. Let’s grab some things from the weaponry, we can bring out extra for the others.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jun.” Minghao’s voice turned tight and serious, one hand moving up to cover one of Jun’s. “I can’t lose you. Just please, stay right here. I promise I’ll be right back.” Junhui’s heartbeat rapidly sped up and his breath caught in his throat and all he could do was nod dumbly. Minghao tugged hem out of their hiding place, they run with their heads down and knees bent back the way Jun had come from. He glanced back quickly to see walkers steadily filling the yard, but he couldn’t tell how or why within the chaos breaking out around them and he couldn’t find the source of it all before Minghao was pulled back into the cell block.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Find anyone you can.” Minghao says as he holds Junhui by the shoulders. “I promise I’ll be back.” Jun hadn’t realized how much his friend truly meant to him until that moment. He found himself regretting not figuring it out sooner. He grabbed the younger boy by the waist and pulled him in so he could clumsily press his lips to Minghao’s. Jun kissed him until he was breathless. Their teeth clashed, Minghao let out a surprised breath, and Junhui’s heart stopped for moment before starting back up even faster. He pulled back and set his hand on Minghao’s cheek.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You better be back.” He said in a huff of breath.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay.” Minghao whispered before detaching himself from Jun and going out the door they’d just come in. Junhui took a moment to breathe before going to find anyone inside the cell block. It didn’t take Junhui long before he found Jiwoo and Yves huddled in one of the solitary confinement rooms they’d converted into a daycare room. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jun! What’s happening out there?” Yves asked, standing up and maneuvering past some of the kids. One sniffling boy, Hajoon, sat on her hip.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m honestly not sure. It’s complete chaos out there, Minghao is getting weapons for us. Maybe we could get the kids out to the can…” He trailed off thoughtfully, eyes wide and anxious.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Where is everyone else?” Jiwoo’s voice came out panicked and hurried. “Is anyone hurt?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I-I don’t know.” Jun shook his head. “There’s no way this ends with causalities.” He said honestly, his voice quite grim.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t want to leave our home, Junhui.” Jiwoo said, looking up at him with watery eyes. Jun pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back as soothingly as he could even though he felt the same way. “Let’s go see if we can find anyone else in here.” He thought that distracting her might help her keep her nervous under control. “Yves stay with the kids; we’ll be right back.” Junhui pulled Jiwoo from the room, the sounds of voices yelling and gun shots from outside are muffled.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The two of them check each cell and it doesn’t take long before they ran into Hansol, Chan, and Kahei who were just as confused as the rest of them. They all go back to Yves and the kids. Jun sits outside the room anxiously waiting for Minghao to return. The door below screeched loudly as it opened, and Jun lunged to his feet. His rapidly beating heart calms when he sees Minghao ushering Wonwoo and Soonyoung into the cell block. All three men are carrying three guns each. Jun meets them at the top of the landing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you know what happened?” Jun asks, his voice coming out hushed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Daehwi let walkers in.” Soonyoung mumbled, Jun had gotten so use to Soonyoung’s bright smile and positive outlook it was jarring to see him revert back to the dark expression and hard-set jaw they had all worn before finding safety and creating their own community. “His son was one of the ones who were sick.” The influenza was spreading throughout the prison, it wasn’t too bad for the adults but with little to no way to treat it the children were having a much harder time. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“His son passed away this morning.” Wonwoo explained. “He broke, he killed Jeonghan and Hyunjin because they were the on-duty healers.” Wonwoo’s voice was choked and Jun had to cover his mouth to keep from sobbing. He needed to keep it together. “He thinks everyone should die if his son couldn’t live. I heard him yelling before he started shooting.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The kids are in here.” Junhui explained, pointing back at the room. “We should get them out first.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Their plan is quickly and sloppily thrown together as they knew they’d have very little time to get everything done. Minghao, Wonwoo, and Soonyoung pass out their extra guns. Hansol and Yves leave to track down the keys to the van while Junui, Kahei, and Jiwoo began getting the children ready. They carefully explained to them what they needed to do. Jiwoo has them all lined up by the time Hansol and Yves get back with the keys. Minghao, Wonwoo, Soonyoung, Hansol, Yves, and Junhui each take one of the guns that were brought back from the weaponry. Minghao gives one of his knives to Jiwoo and another to Chan, Kahei still keeps a gun on her at all times and takes the front of the huddle they made around the children along with Minghao.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gunfire goes off around them and the moans of the dead can be heard just under the rapid shots going off in every direction. They shuffle forward with two at the front and sides of the huddle taking out dead ones that are too close as they inch around the side of the building towards the area, they kept the van parked at. The van is just around the side of the building which suddenly seemed a million miles away. They do manage to get to the van without any causalities. Hansol breaks away to start the van, Jun helps the other load the kids in the van as Chan, Vivi, and Minghao look out for any trouble.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We can’t fit everyone.” Jiwoo says as she leans out the door.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I have to find Jihoon.” Soonyoung says, already backing away.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll go with you. I’ll cover your back.” Wonwoo says joining the other boy – no one stops them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Junhui and I can handle ourselves.” Minghao gives Jiwoo a nod as he finishes, but her eyes are still filled with worry and even some tears. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Chan, go with them.” Vivi orders, pushing him towards the van. “I’ll get out with Hao and Jun.” Things continue to fall to shit just as Jiwoo is closing up the van door, one of the kids screams at the top of their lungs and jumps from the van running to a woman lying in the grass a few feet away.</span>
  </em>
</p><p><em><span>“Jisung!” Jiwoo’s scream rips from her throat as Jisung begins crying out for his mother. For a moment everything seems in slow motion for Junhui. All the </span></em><b><em>sounds</em></b><em><span> of the gunfire, the screaming, the crying, the groans and growls from the dead. The smell of rotting flesh, fresh metallic blood, and gunpowder overwhelming Junhui’s nose. The feeling of dried blood crusting on Jun’s face and arms and weight of the gun in his hands. All these sensations </span></em><b><em>should</em></b> <em><span>overwhelm him but seeing little Jisung running towards his deceased mother surrounded by all of the horrible things that the world could ever possibly think up – Junhui reacted without thought. He ran towards Jisung scooping him up by the middle and then time went back to moving impossibly fast once more. He turns to head back to the van but freezes in place his blood running cold when he sees Jinbi, a woman he once would have called a friend, fighting Minghao. There’s a young girl laying on the ground beside the can, crying after clearly being ripped from her seat in the van. Minghao’s gun was on the ground and Jinbi has a knife in her hands as Minghao tries to fight her off. But all at once the woman stops moving and her blood sprays across Minghao’s face from where a thin dagger was sticking out from the back of Jinbi’s neck. She drops down to his feet as his hands slip from her arms revealing Vivi standing behind her wiping blood from her dagger with the sleeve of her shirt. Jun rushes forward and loads both Jisung and the young girl Jinbi had displaced back into the van and buckles them in place once more. And then the van is driving off leaving the three of them on their own. It's almost a relief but when he turns once more it’s to a knife lodged in Minghao’s shoulder.</span></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Minghao! Your shoulder!” Junhui says, voice too loud and full of shock. Minghao grunts as he pulls the blade out but shakes his head when Jun tries to come closer, hands stretched out to try and help.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ll deal with it later. We need to get out of here first.” He says easily brushing off Jun’s concern.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s right.” Vivi says, not giving Junhui room to argue and so they collect the things they’d dropped and leave the overrun prison behind as it burns and smokes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>*One Week Later*</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jun’s fingers tap anxiously on his knees as he watches Vivi boiling water over the small fire he’d managed to build. It’s almost a sad sight, just a makeshift pot barley balancing on a few branches they’d used to make a spit to hold the pot above flame. Jun looked back at the wound in Minghao’s shoulder, it was long and deep the skin around the wound was a dark shade of red and heat radiated off of it. The skin of the actual wound was puckered and swollen with green pus that leaked and crusted over each day. Junhui was also sure a smell had started to come from it but he kept this to himself not to worry Minghao and Vivi even more than they already were. The fire died out as Vivi stomped over it with dampened leaves, she sighed as she sat back down putting a pair of tweezers and strips of cloth into the boiling water having set four cups of water aside to cool for drinking and another for washing. They had gotten used to this routine already and were able to easily fall into their parts in mostly silence. Vivi grabbed the extra cup and came to kneel in front of Junhui, she poured half the water over his hands which made him hiss softly from the heat. He then leaned back so she could pour the rest over Minghao’s shoulder and somehow he barely even made a sound. They’d been caring for his wound for the past week but all they had was water and cloth they’d made into bandages. Vivi had gone on an ill advised trip into a nearby town and of course all of the medical supplies had been taken long ago but Vivi was able to get a few items of clothing that they’d cut and cleaned to be used as bandages and - thankfully - a pair of tweezers.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now Minghao’s wound was still filled with dirt and gravel from several days ago, Junhui had been cleaning Minghao’s wound but the water had been too hot and he’d leapt away on instinct falling to the ground  and landing right on his shoulder when he’d rolled onto his back. He’d already been in so much pain already Jun hadn’t been able to get all the debris out from his wound.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry, this is going to hurt.” Jun warned Hao as Vivi scooped the tweezers out of the pot.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know.” Minghao said through gritted teeth. “Man, I wish we had whiskey.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sorry, I looked for liquor but unsurprisingly there wasn’t any.” Vivi explained, coming to sit in front of Minghao and off her hand for him to hold.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m going in.” Jun whispered.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Picking out the little bits of dirt and pebbles that stuck in the wound broke Junhui’s hearts. Every small sound the younger boy made or jerk of his body chipped away at his heart over and over again. But of course Minghao had handled it amazingly. He was so very strong and Jun admired him more than he’d ever be able to express. Unfortunately, the wound began to bleed once more as Jun removed things from it and so once he finished he used extra cloth in place of gauze and wrapped it carefully but firmly. When this was done Vivi left them to hunt down dinner.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry.” Jun whispered as Minghao turned to face him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, don’t do that.” Minghao cupped his face, calloused hands brushing against his slightly sunburned skin. “You’re helping me, probably saving my life. Thank you, Jun.” Minghao leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Jun’s forehead. “Thank you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>*Ten Days Later*</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If Junhui hadn’t been sure ten days ago that Minghao’s wound was infected he sure as hell was now. Jun and Vvi were snooping around the town they’d come across, going through houses and buildings that seemed clear or that the two of them could easily clear together. They’d set Minghao up outside on the house with a wrap around porch, he had a fever now and chills were wracking his body as his forehead dripped sweat and he’d begun to complain of aches and pains throughout the rest of his body. Jun knew he was trying not to complain much because he didn’t want to worry them too much but that didn’t stop Vivi and Jun being extremely concerned anyway. They needed medical supplies and actual medication or better yet a doctor...or someone who used to be a doctor.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just stay here, okay?” Vivi said as she kneeled in front of Minghao handing him a bag of food and a water bottle. “You’ll just have to yell if you need us...so, try not to need us.” Jun stood behind Minghao running his fingers through the younger boy's hair.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ll be back soon, this is the last place.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t need to be babied.” He reminded them in a small grumble.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fair enough.” Vivi grabbed Jun by the sleeve to pull him over to the house across the street.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It doesn’t take them long to go through the house, it was small and already mostly gutted of resources. But once they left the house with what little they’d found Jun thought he might have a heart attack because Minghao wasn’t where they’d left him. He stops in his tracks and Vivi nearly runs into him, setting a hand on his back to stop herself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Minghao!” Jun yells, not caring about the walkers that were nearby.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jun.” Vivi whisper shouts. “Be quiet. He’s probably close by-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m right here.” A low and annoyed voice says to their right. They turn to see Minghao standing at the end of the road in front of a street sign. “Come look at this.” Junhui sighs, setting a hand over his heart in relief before following Vivi over to where Minghao was standing. Vivi covers her mouth in silent surprise when she reads what Minghao was showing them. Written in the blood of a rotting walker was:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ANY PRISON SURVIVORS</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>GO WEST TO THE </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>O</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>LYPIAN SAFE ZONE</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-LEE JIHOON</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh my god.” Jun felt an unbelievable amount of excitement and relief flood through him when he saw the familiar name written out below the message. Once his brain caught up and looked past the general excitement he wondered what this ‘safe zone’ might have for them, maybe medicine and real bandages which could help - even save - Minghao...they might even have a doctor.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I found an old map in the closet.” Vivi whispered, digging it out of her bag. “If we can figure out where we are and where this safe zone is we can stay here and plan out our movements. We’ll leave at sunrise.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>*That Night*</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The journey wouldn’t be too long, a week if they moved quickly maybe less if they could find a car. They really weren’t too far which was evident by the increasing frequency of Olympian Safe Zone signs and maps and more of the blood written messages from Jihoon. But Junhui was worried about Minghao traveling on foot. He was weak, his wound wasn’t getting any better no matter how hard he tried. They slept in one of the houses they had raided, they wouldn’t need it for more than a night. Minghao helped Vivi map out their path at the kitchen table, Jun wrapped a blanket around his scrawny shoulders being mindful of the potential pain he could have. He was still sweating from fever and shaking with chills and Jun had never felt so scared before in his life. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know you’re worried.” Minghao whispers later that night as he scooted closer to Jun from the other side of the bed they had taken. “</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>This</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> is our solution, Junnie. We’ll see the other survivors from the prison. If this safe zone is legit they might have a doctor or at least medical supplies.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I really wanna point out everything that you said is actually just a big ‘maybe’. We don’t know how or if any of this is gonna actually workout.” Jun’s voice is cracked and saddened, something he hasn’t let Minghao hear or see how much he was being affected because he didn’t need to be worried about Jun when he was the one who was hurt. He scoots even closer and wraps his arms carefully around Minghao’s waist.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey! Come on! I’m supposed to be the pessimistic one.” Minghao whined, tucking his face into Junhui’s neck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry. You’re right we need to be hopeful. And you need to rest, okay? Get some sleep.” The elder whispers running his fingers soothingly down Minghao’s back.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>*The Next Day*</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The sun is high in the sky and beating down on them  unrelentingly. But they’ve finally made it with only a mile to go. Vivi was already far ahead of Jun and Minghao and they could just barely see her anymore. Jun knew she was as anxious as them to get there and see who survived, get food, water, shelter. Jun had told her to go ahead and get help for that reason and because he knew she wanted to help Minghao as well and he could barely walk by then. Junhui felt sick to his stomach and he was just hoping against hope that they had a doctor. He just </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>couldn’t</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> lose Minghao. Not after everything they’d been through and just...</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>not Minghao</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Minghao? Can you hear me baby?” Junhui was trying to keep his voice even but desperation was easily slipping through. He had one arm wrapped firmly around the younger boy’s waist, the other was petting damp hair from his eyes as he just barely kept the boy on his feet. “Vivi is ahead and she’s going to come back with help. You’re gonna be okay, just hold on a little longer, yeah?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Want to.” Minghao whispered through cracked dry lips. “I’m just glad that we’re almost there, so you can be safe. I just want you to be safe.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Minghao, you’re gonna be okay too.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Promise me you won’t let me turn into one of the dead-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Stop!” Junhui’s voice was suddenly sharp and panicked. “You’re </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>not</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> going to die?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know, I’ve loved you for </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>so</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> long. Knew I would from that first time I saw you. I’m always saving your ass.” Minghao’s knees buckled, Jun just lowered both of them to the road beneath their feet.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“This is no time for teasing.” He sobbed into Minghao’s hair.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t want you to remember the bad, okay? And I don’t want you to remember me like this. Think of all the good, when you think of me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“W-we can have more good times. Just stay with me, hold on just a little longer.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Say you love me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ming-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Say it.” His voice was suddenly much stronger than it had been in </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>days</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>. “Not everyone gets a chance to pick what their last words are to someone. You can. So say it.” Junhui curled into Minghao’s body that he’d maneuvered into his lap. “Because I love you, Junhui. I love you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I-I love yo-ou.” Jun sobbed. “I love you so, so, so much. I’m so happy I met you, even if it meant the world had to end for us to meet. Okay? I love you. You are so loved.” Jun continued to hold Minghao longer after he went limp and the younger boy’s shallow breath stopped fanning across his cheek. He was still holding Minghao when Vivi arrived with Jihoon, Seungcheol, and a safe zone doctor. He holds him long after that, the day starts to bleed into night and the air goes cool around them before Seungcheol and Jihoon rip him away and help him bring the body into the walls of the safe zone</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Junhui shudders at the memory. He can still feel the knife heavy in his hand and the warm stickiness of the others blood on his skin. He hadn’t actually told Minghao he’d make sure he wouldn’t come back as the rest of the dead did - not in words at least but Minghao had trusted Jun to do it and so he had. Jun cleared his throat for what must have been the millionth time and looked down at Jinyong almost forgetting the boy was still in his lap. “<strong>And no matter what happens you’ll always love them. Nothing can ever change that.</strong>” His voice was barely above a whisper at that point making the boy lean in to listen. “That...that’s a soulmate, Jinyong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jinyong!” Yanan’s sweet soft voice invaded their little world and the boy in his arms whined as he tucked his face into Junhui’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanna stay with Junhui gégé!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t, not today, Jinyong.” Yanan said softly as he got closer. “You’re already bothered him enough and we need to get back to our lessons.” Jun looked past Yanan’s legs to the group of kids standing together, waiting for their teacher.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t a bother, don’t worry.” Jun slipped his hands under the Jinyong’s arms and stood the boy up. “Have a good time with your lessons, Jinyongie.” Junhui said sweetly, poking the boy's stomach lightly, he giggled as Yanan took his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Junhui. Remember to eat and take care of yourself today. Don’t stay out too long after it gets dark. It’ll get cold out here.” Yanan said softly, having leaned down to speak to Jun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, I’ll be careful.” Jun promised, voice barely above a whisper once more. He watched the class leave before looking back at the grave marker in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been a year today, Minghao. And it still hurts like it just happened a few hours ago.” Jun bit his lip trying to keep his voice from breaking...of course, he couldn’t. “I miss you always saving me. I’m sorry I didn’t save you. But I promise that I don’t just remember that day, in fact today is the first time I’ve let myself think of it in a year. I remember the good, Minghao. I remember the good.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ha ha…hi…do you guys hate me? I'm not sure why I wrote this depressing fic but I have several like this at this point. Someone should really stop me. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. If I didn't add any warnings that should/need to be in here please inform me, I tried to think of what might need warnings…ya know? I don't want to give away the whole fic though. Also tell me if there are any mistakes. I did some quick editing but I didn't have much time to go through it thoroughly and I am just one person! Anyway, please tell me what you think and have a great day!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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